Funny Fotos- II

REWE-ALDI bhai bhai... The fierce competitors in Supermarket category, Munich

1 kg chawal Please ..3-D set up of an Indian Kirana Store, Innsbruck

Italians are crazy about names, but Amerigo Vespucci for an AlItalia Aircraft, bloddy awesome!

Can it get any cheaper? 1.5 ltr Cola for 39 cents ~ 23 Rs, Plus Supermarket,Germany

Let's have a round table conference!, United Nations Office, Geneve, Switzerland

Any Merchant of Venice around?, Taxi stand in Venice

You are in Germany...

You are in Germany when :

1. You see huge girls! (Not fat, mind you!) . There's little to doubt over the fact that German Women are World Football champs.

2. You meet people who start speaking in German, but when asked ," Sie spreechen Englisch?", will give a smile and start speaking flawless English.

3. You see the umlauts (two dots on a,o,u) and es-sete (the beta character) in spellings.

4. You meet people who will pull legs of French people (Ah! The popular love-hate relationship between French and Germans...A German student told me: In your project group, I did well by taking a Chinese in addition to 2 Frenchmen. Frenchmen never work like their railways. (Strike in French railway was ongoing))

5. You meet people with soft corner for England. (Quote: "Bundesliga is not as popular as EPL. And Miroslav Klose may not be a poster boy like Wayne Rooney. But atleast we reached Euro 2008 finals")

And last..but not the least...

5. You see bald girls in a shop and then you see boys with hair till asses in the next shop.

(Inspired by : http://pranavineurope.blogspot.com/2007/11/you-know-its-france-when.html)

All Good Things...

And finally my eurail pass has called it a day! I was a bit sentimental on last 2 days of the pass.
I had special plans for the last 2 days, which were specially arranged by days of procrastination.

Penultimate Day : Austrian Alps, Innsbruck, Austria
Last Day: Mainz-Koblenz-Cologne travel along Rhine.

Why was this so special?
My first travel with Eurail pass : Mainz-Koblenz-Cologne travel along Rhine.
My first overseas travel: Austrian Alps, Salzburg, Austria

It was just the order of fate that I went to one of the most beautiful country and one of the most amazing cities (Which I toured atleast 5 times) in those 2 days.

So I was just superstitious about completing the circle. In the mid-time Europe was raided like a cowboy. The soles of my shoes are testimony to the same

Germany!

Friends, countrymen and fellow students on exchange ask me: "Germany mei dekhne layak kya hai?"
I tell them: Five things: Berlin, Cologne (Rhine included), Munich, Black Forest and People.
They ask: People?
I say: Yes, that is true.

Never met people before, who took their country from rags to riches, not once but twice after World Wars! Never met people whose city consisted of only 2 *alive* buildings after World War 2, and they built an amazing city out of such a heap, so that the complete World would gave them a standing ovation! By the way, the only reason why those two buildings were spared was that they were the tallest structures in the city and their tallness helped the Bomber planes of Allied forces to recognize the city in night. (Guess the city :)). Never saw people, who not only built a country, but built a country with such an amazing infrastructure. And if you talk about German Railways, forget their ambience, forget their amazing connectivity at any hour during the day, forget the free travel in ICE trains, but the best thing was the cleanliness of toilets amongst all railways in Europe. NR Narayan Murthy was quite apt when he said: *A company is known by its toilets*. Let's extend it to countries, and that's where Germany stands!
Never expected that I would get an email in 2 hours after the project groups were declared in the class, for project meeting in the night, for the project, whose submission was 3 months afterwards. Never would have imagined that I completed a project 27 days in advance (And that's why German car companies can never beat the Toyotas, they can never learn JIT). Never saw students who would drive 100 km to and fro, for a silly project in a subject.

And I am happy that I met such people in abundance during exchange program.

P.S.: All the German readers: Mark the nearest Starbucks Coffee joint for me!

P.P.S.: will explain the other four *dekhne-layak* things soon.

The Crowd Factor

No Crowd: Stadium Tour, San Siro Stadio, Milan

75000 people: Barcelona FC vs Real Betis, CampNou, Barcelona

Best Comment From Class

Place: Real Estate Management Class.

Prof: Do you know what will happen to the beautiful houses in downtown Frankfurt in 2050?
Students: Nein. No.
Prof: They will be empty because there is no one alive to stay there. We are suffering from negative population growth rate. The average German woman conceives only 1.2 children. That's so bad. We need to do something; I mean you need to do something. I have had 3 kids, that's my share of work.
(Turns to German girls)
Prof: Please do something. Please do something for your lovely country.
(Sudden rush in class. Some girls stand up)
Prof: No no. Please excuse us. No national duties right now. Do it after the class.

And we, the students, were rolling on the floor, laughing!

Sarchasm Anyone?

Today we had a function arranged by DAAD, our scholarship-paying agency in Stuttgart. The arrangements were excellent, and this is one thing where I bow to the Germans. For three days, things took place as per the exact timing given in itinerary. Only once they were late by 2 minutes, and they apologized for the same. Over three days: We had hotel stay, amazing food, free tour of Stuttgart, Visit to Mercedes Benz Museum. So nothing more I could have asked for!

Then we had an interesting lecture by a Dutch Professor, who had been to India, Chennai to be precise. We asked him, what does he miss about India?
His reply: Beautiful Chennai Women!

I resign!

Arbit Experiences

I have been trying my hand at this game for quite some time. The Asian people are quite discernible in European countries thanks to their skin colour, hair colour and may be the colour of the eyes. So I was trying to find a list of features that will help me to identify the country of a person from his looks, especially for the Asian people.

So I came up with a few traits through *net searches and observing people* like:

Chinese looks: Japan, South Korea, China, HK, and Thailand
Indian looks: Rest of Asia


So after coming up with these traits, I started to test it. Every time I saw an Indian looking guy. I used to him * Are you from India?*. And depending on the answers, I modified my traits.

Indian with fair looks: Pakistan
Indian with dark looks: Sri Lanka
Else: India
Fair looks with sharp noses: Turkey, Israel and their Arab friends

But again, this wasn't comprehensive. I met many South Indians who were darker than Srilankans and met many Pakistanis who were darker than North Indians, and many Chinese looked people who were from East India.
So I gave up on finding country from traits. Just not possible!

And finally found the only way to find whether a person is Indian/Pakistani without even talking to him.
If you see an Asian looking guy, talk to Indian friend in Hindi *Train kitne baje ki hai?*. If he doesn't know the language, it will be chaos for him and he won't turn to see us. But if he knows Hindi, he will turn back.

So armed with this weapon, I was travelling alone from Paris to Frankfurt the other day by Eurail. And next to me was an Asian looking guy. Now the problem was, I could not ask my Indian friend *Train kitne baje ki hai?* because I was already in the train. And over to that, since I was travelling alone, there was no one to ask for this question. So I decided to talk directly to the person.

I: Are you from Asia?
N: Yes
I: Are you from *Pakistan*? (*India* had become too cliche)
Neighbor (N): Nope, India
I: Where in India?
N: Bombay
I: Where in Mumbai?
N: Vileparle
I: Where in Vileparle?N: EastI: Where in East?N: Sant Janabai Road
I: Oh, I live on the same road
N (Shocked): Do you have Sant Janabai Road in Pakistan?
I: Nah, I am from India. The first question was Just Like That!

And this way, I found the person who lives on the same road, from the question *Are you from Asia?*

And the award goes to....

Vatican City: The smallest country in the world!

Monaco : 2nd smallest country in the world!!

Funny Fotos!

Koln : Open toilets, will you relinquish your fluids here?

Dusseldorf Petrol Pump: That 0.999 fever, prices upto 3 decimals

A Hotel in Frankfurt: Where the hell is Da Vinci?

A German Keyboard: That's why we make so many spelling mistakes.

If Stockholm tourist guide doesn't lie: World's smallest coffee house (5 seats only)

On Stockholm-Helsinki Cruise: Some cigarette kills, the other can kill

French sense of humour at its best

Couple on the either side of broken Berlin Wall

The fish market in Bergen,Norway: They can speak every possible language!

Scandanavia Tour

Hi all

We are done with scandanavia. Many people are asking about tour plan So here is a quick guide :

3rd Oct: Frankfurt to Flemsburg ( Supposed to reach Kobenhaven in the night, but there was an accident on track). And instead of sleeping at Sid Jain's place, we slept at Flemsburg station, on Germany-Denmark border.

4th: Reached Kobenhaven. Sightseeing. Night at Sid Jain's Place

5th afternoon: Kobenhaven(1323) --> Goteburg --> Oslo(2145) --> Bergen (Overnight train)

6th : Bergen Sightseeing : Bergen(1558)-->Oslo.
Reahed Oslo in night,decided to stay in station.Oslo station closes at 115 am, so they kicked us out in 2-3 degree temperature and it was a blessing! It was Saturday night, and the streeets were flooded with people. So we went around the streets.

7th: Deprived of sleep...Dummy travel to Gyrovic(4 hrs to and fro and sleep in train). Saw Gyrovic town too.. Back in Oslo and sightseeing in Oslo
Night: Train to stockholm

8th: Stockholm sightseeing. and ferry to Turku(1915)
9th: Turku sightseeing --> Train to Helsinki--> Helsinki sightsseing--> Ferry to Stockholm (1700)
10th: Stockholm --> Kobenhaven-->Hamburg
11th morning: Frankfurt
_____________________________________________________________________

1.Plz carry your own food and drinks. Scandanavia (espl Norway is damn expensive). Bergen had cheapest youth hostel at 55 euros, and toilet costed you 1.5 euro. In case you want to save toilet money in Bergen, there is Galleratiat shopping mall next to fish market. On 5th floor, there is a toilet for handicapped people. It is free if you know the code , the code is 6859.
2. Carry euro card if you have. All scandi countries have their own kroners. And forex counters charge a flat fee of 20-25 kroners for conversion, hence minimize the conversions.
3. Bergen --> Oslo has been voted as the most beautiful railway track in world in some damn survey. hence dont travel overnight both times.
4. Ferry ride is also a must, don't go to Turku, it was a bad decision on our part. Take Sholm --> Hsinki ride and back. Category C cabins are free on eurail pass. Tax free shops on board of cruise, where you can get cheap chocolates and liquor.
5. Go to Fjord tour if possible, costs 50 euro.We missed it. http://www.fjordtours.com/ I guess
6. Take Kobenhaven--> Hamburg direct train. Here the whole train goes inside the ferry as there is sea in between.

Leg Before Wicket

Germany: A land of fitness freaks. In every nook and corner, we can see people taking good care of their health, to compensate for beer binges. So we see games like Football, Tennis, Cycling and running. You will see an office-goer going to office in a cycle, a Professor coming to university on a cycle. For us in India, fitness becomes an issue when we sit in office cubicles for 13 hours, and then fitness becomes more of an ornament, were going to gym is flaunted as an achievement. Here fitness is a way of life.

Needless to say, Football, Lawn Tennis, Cycling and Running makes their legs stronger and sexier. And these people aren't shy about flaunting the same, like:

A Picture is Worth Thousand Words!

Extremely Scenic Rhine Valley

Photo of Eurail taken from boat

Beer on boat ride through Mosel River

Frankfurt Auto Show

Ferrari and Me

Live From Classroom

I am here, sitting in ebs classroom in real estate investment lecture and enjoying wi-fi.

The major difference as compared to Indian classroom is that students are allowed to enter class at any time, leave at any time, cell phones ring in class, people drink Coke, eat food, use wi-fi and chit-chat in class. The Professor is not bugged by all this stuff, in fact he is at his humorous best. Also, there is no attendance policy.

And in IIML: Class doors close at exact start time, mobiles need to be on silent, forget eating food or using lappie in the classroom. Attendance below 80% and lose your grades.

My guess is that, this is a result of difference in pay structures. In Germany, professors are extremely well paid, and in India, well we know the scintillating payments that Profs get!
As Indian Profs are not well paid, they need to show their anger on someone, and the simplest target is the students, and hence we see a lot of ludicrous rules.
As German professors get paid well, they are not frustrated and hence don't pain the students.

Settling Down

I am done with 3 days of stay in Germany. I am staying at Hattenheim, which is a small village, 42 km from Frankfurt. So here are my quick takes on stuff around us:

1. People: German people are extremely helpful. They are very trustworthy, now one of the guys gave me a lift in his Mercedes for 20 km distance. The biggest problem is that they speak English in German accent and it causes a bit of problem when we hear *zalt* for *salt* and so on. But on the whole people are extremely friendly, don't mind saying Guten Morgen and Halo to strangers on the road. Oh, yeah, not to forget, they are damn good looking!!

2. Tehjeeb: I guess ancestors of Germans used to stay in Lucknow because the magnanimous Lucknowi culture has been ingrained in Germans. Whenever a person crosses the road and, the car comes, then the car will stop and not the person. The hierarchy has been person >> cycle >> car, and if a person and cycle cross by, then the cyclist will stop and allow the person to cross the road with *Pehle Aap* tehjeeb.

3. Technology: Germans are well known in their techiness and Frankfurt airport is a fine example of it. Germany has very less population growth rate and hence they need to automate a lot of things. So Frankfurt airport was full of such techiness and they have made sure that the airport doesn't get converted into railway station. Also people are not allowed to walk on highways, hence we see BMWs speeding at 130 kmph without much hassles. Just check this image, photo taken at 129 kmph (Check Eurail track on right).



4. Scenery: The college region is quite scenic, with Eurail, Wine yards and rhine river nearby. Rhein and eurail are the major transport facilities for goods. Rhein flows through Germany and is considered to be Goddess River. Check the above image of Rhein, taken from the car at Rudesheim

And yeah, Germans are superstitious about *13*, just check this image:

Guten Morgen!

The Flight Experience
So finally, after bagful of shopping, writing down the list of items to be taken in hundred different places in hundred different forms (Notepad, sticky note, reminder notes), flew from Mumbai at 145 by AlItalia Airlines. The check-in was very much smooth except for the fact that my colleague faced a major glitch as his passport’s last page had damaged lamination. He told the authorities that he is going for study program, and showed European Business School (ebs)‘s documents, they authorities didn’t bug. Then he thought that he will pull up with a trump card, so he took out IIM Lucknow’s ID Card with huge pride, but believe it or not, the authority didn’t know what is an IIM!!! Now he scavenged for all types of ID cards in his wallet, and to his surprise, he found out IITK’s life membership card. And the authorities were more than happy to allow him to go on seeing the name IIT!
Al Italia:
The airline is synonymous to Italian government what Air India is to Indian government. So we had a couple of old members in the crew and a few younger ones. Both air hostesses and stewards were quite tall, more than 5’10”. The best part was that they distributed the newspaper Financial Times in the aircraft, and that newspaper carried an article about sad state of AlItalia as an airline. It talked about future job cuts and also mentioned that the CEO is striving hard for operational efficiencies. Food was good, avoid continental food if you don’t have any pepper or spices around, otherwise it is quite bland. The crew members were quite enthusiastic, considering the fact that nobody was sure that whether they will be working for AlItalia 1 month down the line or not. The flight took off exactly at 145 am and reached 20 minutes before time, that’s some operational efficiency; they lived up to their words.
Right now in Milan Airport, Malpensa, the airport is outside the city. Milan vs. Rome is as good as Mumbai vs. Delhi. Wi-fi is charged at the airport, Mumbai airport scores better there. We have a huge Brazilian contingent, carrying flags and all. If any Indian STEX person is coming here, kindly get the flag!

Who the HELL is Orkut?

Orkut has bagged MTV Youth Icon 2007 prize. It's not a human, but its deeds are humanly.

So why the hell is Orkut so famous amongst Indians?

1. It helped to find long lost buddies of school/dance classes/coaching classes and what not!

2. There are so many people whom you would not like to add on Yahoo messenger/gtalk but would like to know their whereabouts every month or so. Orkut gave that flexibility.

3. Orkut helped you to gossip. Who is committed, and who is not, who is where and who is hot!

4. Many social networking sites emerged after seeing the success of Orkut like yaari.com. These websites had a few distinctive features like every item is a hyperlink, so that you can search for all the people who like to listen to Lucky Ali. Orkut conglomerated all such unique features of different sites into Orkut, so that you don't need to go to any other site for networking.


Where Orkut has gone wrong?

1. Orkut hasn't looked after professional networking. linkedin filled that gap, and has become a big force in the professional world.

2. Orkut has failed to monitor porn profiles/communities, which may become nuisance in coming years in case they proliferate.

3. Many fake profiles are made on orkut and Orkut doesn't have any unique identification for every profile to avoid the repetitions.

The future:

Web 2.0 has rocked big time, but Orkut will face stiff competition from cash-rich Reliance backed bigadda.com, a social networking site. Given the cash richness of bigadda and techieness of Google, the battle will be interesting one, though Google will easily scrape through.

In the end: Orkut rocks!

The Great IIML Cycle

So here I am, chilling at home, after enduring yet another 6 week cycle in IIM Lucknow.


For the uninitiated, the cycle in IIML works as:

Week 1: Start of new term. Starts with registration process where you need to get a handful of signatures, pay term fees and collect bagful of books (Yes!). The books and xerox material is given by IIM Lucknow. But it is too huge; I mean initially in the 1st year, I felt that the books are given for an entire year. But I received a shock when the person told me that it is for 1 term only (3 terms/year). Overall first week is a very chilled week; most of the time is spent in catching up upon what we did in holidays. No assignments, no quizzes.

Weeks 2 and 3: The atmosphere gets heated up, a few quizzes are held and students (pretend to) study for the same.

Week 4: Pre-submission phases, when every project group in every course, meets up, decides the topic, divides the work.

Week 5: Submission-phase. We have 7 subjects, 7 presentations, 7 possible quizzes, a few vivas, a few more assignments and only 6 days. You can imagine! In addition to that we are supposed to study for impending exam

Week 6: Exams. Sometimes twice a day, at times thrice a day, they come in all forms. Campus is highly volatile! Gtalk status messages depict the same.

Week 7 = Week 1...And the cycle continues....

Master of *Busy*ness Administration

The typical keywords in any of the life@B-school posts:
1. We are busy
2. We are damn busy
3. Assignements are killing us
4. We sleep for x hours/day ( x varies between 2 to 6)
5. I have not slept for last y hours ( y varies between 30 to infiniti)
6. I gotta run for project
7. life is hectic

Kepp'em coming!

Group Dynamics

Having successfully completed one year of MBA and being a part of different groups for different projects in various subjects, here are my 2 cents on group dynamics and related issues:

1. NEVER in caps, never choose different people for different groups. You will end up doing a lot of running. My sincere advice will be to try out all the people in your class in term1. After working with different people, you will get an idea about the working styles of every group member you had. You will get to know who is a free rider, who is a hard worker, who is a smart worker, who is a JIT believer and so on...But most importantly it will help you to understand whose working style matches with yours the most. From second term, choose the people with whom you can get along very well, or your working styles match, and continue with this core group for all the subjects. This will help you to delegate the work in far better manner for all the subjects.

2. If a group consists of 5 people, don't choose all 5 stud people. If all stars are a part of same group, it is most likely that there will be ego problems about nature and scope of the work. A few might revert to social loafing. (Remember Real Madrid!)
Always choose a combo like 2/3 studs + 3/2 excellent supporters. This way there are no ego problems in the team and the team works excellently (Remember Pakistan's bowling attack in World Cup 1999: Wasim Akram and Shoaib Akthar were ably supported by Abdur Razzaq and Azhar Mahmood)

3. And last but not the least; prefer team players who are not your friends over your friends who are not so good team players.
The reason for the same is that of context. You view your friends through the mirror of friendship/common hobby. So your perceptions about the friend might change when you work in a team in which he is not so good contributor. This may result in heat in the friendship. It is better to choose a person who is a team player, as we don’t happen to view him/her through any specific mirror. And he/she may become your friend if both of your attitudes click.

2/3 cents per bullet point. Over and out!