Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The rise and fall of Mumbai Indians!

A lot has been written and more trees wil be cut to describe Mumbai Indians' choking skills. So lemme add a few electrons as well :)
The biggest reason in my opinion i that Sachin should be stripped of captaincy. He is bringing lethargic thinking and subdued mindset to the team. Bring back Pollock as captain.
Mumbai lost 3 matches in last over:
Reasons are plenty: bad fielding, useless batting!
But the most glaring reason is the GOD's captaincy:
1. vs KXIP:
a. Bowled 2 of the most a$$-hole spinners with 4 overs each.
b. Underbowled Jayasuriya and Dwayne Smith
.c. Gave last over to Nehra when Pollock had 1.
2. vs DD
a. Over-relying on D Kulkarni and Sanath.
b. What was S Chitnis-the specialist offspinner doing in team? Chosen for batting?
3. vs RR
His mistake has been so obvious that even a 9-year neighbour told me about it during the match. Every TDH who was watching the match knew that 19th over should be given to Dilhara and 20th to Nehra. Nehra had bowled an awesome 18th over (Really unfortunate to go for cheeky boundaries of yorkers).But the incharge was not TDH but The apple of every woman's eye, the pride of india: Mr. SRT. An over to Raje: A guy who hasn't played a single First class match. When you have a clear cut example of: The wilting of young D Kulkarni in DD match under pressure.
Ofcourse he had choices of Jayasuriya and D Smith.But ok,that can be forgiven. Because at the bottom of the heart, we know that this *pearl in India's feather* can't think laterally like S Warne.
In the end Tendlya has thoroughly proved that forget MI, he is not worth captaining his Mohalla team. He is a good batsman, he takes stunning catches once in a while, But he can never be a good leader. He can clear CAT, he will never clear PI for a leadership course He can dig Mt. Everest but he can never lead a team to dig Mt. Annamalai.
All in all, Tendlya has put himself in fray for Man of Series award. Maybe Tanvir and Watson need to do a lot of hardwork to clinch the award from him.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The India Tour

April was quite hectic for me! Did a 20-day India tour, started in Mumbai and ended up in Mumbai and travelled approx 10000 km in the mean time! I will come up with posts detailing my experiences very soon.
Anyway here is the path:
Mumbai > Hampi > Bangalore> Cochi > Alleppy> Changnacherry > Munnar> Chennai > PortBlair > Kolkata > NJP > Darjiling > Gangtok > NJP> Kolkata > Mumbai
Met Indian navy guys in Cochin, met India army guys on India-China border near Gangtok and in the mean time, found many interesting facts.
So here are some of them:
1. In Hampi, tourist guides may not know Hindi but they know Spanish and German!
2. Hampi is full of excavations and still going on! One month ago, they found 32 kg gold at a depth 4 inches beneath the everyday walking road.
3. In Kerala, marriages take 1 hour flat. The people and bride-bridegroom arrive at marriage hall at 1030 am, the marriage is over by 1130 am. Then the lunch starts and gets over by 230 pm and people leave marriage hall.
4. In Maharashtra and most of the places, bride’s Mother cries after marriage. In Kerala, she laughs. 
5. In Andaman and Nicobar, you have only 1 zone for cars. So all car plates are: AN 01
6. Andaman & Nicobar is more nearer to Thailand than India
7. On NJP- Kolkata highway, the state police get into the bus and shoot each person’s face with video camera! Anti-terrorism eh?

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Yay!

Venue: European Business School, Germany
A project presentation was being presented to a panel of 3 German Professors and an audience of almost 60 students. The project group consisted of an Indian and a Chinese from Beijing University.
After the presentation, the usual Q&A session started. And regarding one recommendation given by the project group, one of the panel members told them that this recommendation is not practical. But of course, the project group gave their arguments to defend their point. After about 10 minutes of tussle, the project group justified their point very well and the panel member agreed with their point and accepted that his point that the recommendation is not practical was wrong.
Now starts the best part: One of the panel members, who was a German, turns towards the audience and says: Beware guys, in the next 10 years, this is the way in which India and China are going to beat Germany.
And believe it or not, the audience gave a thundering round of applause to the project group!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

(F)art of making a CV

Here is a wonderful example of putting the same point in a flowery manner step by step:
Step 1: Did a course in Branding
Step 2: Did a course on Brand Management
Step 3: Audited a course on Brand Management
Step 4: Audited a course on Strategic Brand Management
Step 5: Participated in an audited course on Strategic Brand Management
Step 6: Create a heading Live Industry Exposure: Participated in an audited course on Strategic Brand Management
Step 7: Participated in an audited course on Strategic Brand Management, delivered by industry experts
Step 8: Participated in an audited course on Strategic Brand Management, delivered by renowned industry experts
Step 9: Actively participated in an audited course on Strategic Brand Management, delivered by renowned industry experts

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Sharply Pointed Bullets

*An achiever is a person who has done nothing in life but who can portray himself otherwise* so said the sages. When you say B-schools placements, then inevitably Curriculum Vitae comes to your mind. The sentences are reworded, thesaurus is scanned,artistic language just flows like Ganges River . Just have a peep:
13. As a Hostel Rep, acted as a single point of contact between the students and the administration, also looked after relationship issues of 90 inmates
12. Received candidature for one of the most prestigious financial exam in the world: CFA Level 1, June 2008
11. As the overall coordinator of the event, raised 80 lakh (Font size 12 ends, font size 6 starts) paisas (Font size 6 ends, font size 12 starts) single handedly
10. Conducted an empirical study on mergers on BSE. Recommendations sent to Reserve Bank of India. Project under consideration as per the inland letter received from Dr. Y.V. Reddy, Governor
9: Summers Achievement: Helped to reduce lead time of the process by 42% which helped in a savings of 30 cr INR
8: Ops CV: As a Class Rep, Helped in logistics and scheduling of classes through successful negotiations with faculty
7: Sports Achievements: Scored a hat-trick at a ripe age of 8 years in inter-gully football match in front of a crowd of 2312
6: Academic Achievements: 100% attendance in PMIR, first 2 weeks
5: Fin CV: Academic Achievements: Missed B- in HRM by 0.25 marks just because I came late to a quiz by 5 minutes
4: Winner, INDEX 2007, the biggest marketing fest in India (Font size 12 ends, font size 6 starts) Dry Run Stage
3: As a placement coordinator (Font size 12 ends, font size 6 starts) operations liaison (Font size 6 ends, font size 12 starts) played a pivotal role in 100% placement of the batch in record time
2: Exposure to cross-cultural issues and delicate sensitivities, as a Buddy of an incoming STEX student
1: Fluent in the most romantic language of the world: French, attended 4 classes held by incoming STEX students

Thursday, January 10, 2008

It Happens Only in Germany!

Take a simple task like throwing a used tea bag.
What will an average Indian person do? He will throw it on the road... Well, don't jump upon me, I said average Indian (If you happen to throw it in dustbin, then be sure that you are above average)

What will an average American do? He will throw the teabag in dustbin.

What will an average German do?
He will think for 2 minutes before throwing the teabag. Well, now something has struck into his mind. Hold your breath! He will tear the teabag and take out the wet tea powder. He will tear off the stapler and remove the cardboard paper displaying the brand name and the string.
Now he will throw wet tea powder in a dustbin marked *Biodegradable but not recyclable*
He will throw the stapler in a dustbin marked *Non-biodegradable*
And he will throw the string, the cardboard paper and the teabag paper in a dustbin marked *Biodegradable and Recyclable*
It Happens Only in Germany!!!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Funny Fotos- II

REWE-ALDI bhai bhai... The fierce competitors in Supermarket category, Munich

1 kg chawal Please ..3-D set up of an Indian Kirana Store, Innsbruck

Italians are crazy about names, but Amerigo Vespucci for an AlItalia Aircraft, bloddy awesome!

Can it get any cheaper? 1.5 ltr Cola for 39 cents ~ 23 Rs, Plus Supermarket,Germany

Let's have a round table conference!, United Nations Office, Geneve, Switzerland
Any Merchant of Venice around?, Taxi stand in Venice

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

You are in Germany...

You are in Germany when :
1. You see huge girls! (Not fat, mind you!) . There's little to doubt over the fact that German Women are World Football champs.
2. You meet people who start speaking in German, but when asked ," Sie spreechen Englisch?", will give a smile and start speaking flawless English.
3. You see the umlauts (two dots on a,o,u) and es-sete (the beta character) in spellings.
4. You meet people who will pull legs of French people (Ah! The popular love-hate relationship between French and Germans...A German student told me: In your project group, I did well by taking a Chinese in addition to 2 Frenchmen. Frenchmen never work like their railways. (Strike in French railway was ongoing))
5. You meet people with soft corner for England. (Quote: "Bundesliga is not as popular as EPL. And Miroslav Klose may not be a poster boy like Wayne Rooney. But atleast we reached Euro 2008 finals")
And last..but not the least...
5. You see bald girls in a shop and then you see boys with hair till asses in the next shop.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

All Good Things...

And finally my eurail pass has called it a day! I was a bit sentimental on last 2 days of the pass.
I had special plans for the last 2 days, which were specially arranged by days of procrastination.

Penultimate Day : Austrian Alps, Innsbruck, Austria
Last Day: Mainz-Koblenz-Cologne travel along Rhine.

Why was this so special?
My first travel with Eurail pass : Mainz-Koblenz-Cologne travel along Rhine.
My first overseas travel: Austrian Alps, Salzburg, Austria

It was just the order of fate that I went to one of the most beautiful country and one of the most amazing cities (Which I toured atleast 5 times) in those 2 days.

So I was just superstitious about completing the circle. In the mid-time Europe was raided like a cowboy. The soles of my shoes are testimony to the same

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Germany!

Friends, countrymen and fellow students on exchange ask me: "Germany mei dekhne layak kya hai?"
I tell them: Five things: Berlin, Cologne (Rhine included), Munich, Black Forest and People.
They ask: People?
I say: Yes, that is true.

Never met people before, who took their country from rags to riches, not once but twice after World Wars! Never met people whose city consisted of only 2 *alive* buildings after World War 2, and they built an amazing city out of such a heap, so that the complete World would gave them a standing ovation! By the way, the only reason why those two buildings were spared was that they were the tallest structures in the city and their tallness helped the Bomber planes of Allied forces to recognize the city in night. (Guess the city :)). Never saw people, who not only built a country, but built a country with such an amazing infrastructure. And if you talk about German Railways, forget their ambience, forget their amazing connectivity at any hour during the day, forget the free travel in ICE trains, but the best thing was the cleanliness of toilets amongst all railways in Europe. NR Narayan Murthy was quite apt when he said: *A company is known by its toilets*. Let's extend it to countries, and that's where Germany stands!
Never expected that I would get an email in 2 hours after the project groups were declared in the class, for project meeting in the night, for the project, whose submission was 3 months afterwards. Never would have imagined that I completed a project 27 days in advance (And that's why German car companies can never beat the Toyotas, they can never learn JIT). Never saw students who would drive 100 km to and fro, for a silly project in a subject.

And I am happy that I met such people in abundance during exchange program.

P.S.: All the German readers: Mark the nearest Starbucks Coffee joint for me!

P.P.S.: will explain the other four *dekhne-layak* things soon.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Crowd Factor

No Crowd: Stadium Tour, San Siro Stadio, Milan
75000 people: Barcelona FC vs Real Betis, CampNou, Barcelona


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Best Comment From Class

Place: Real Estate Management Class.

Prof: Do you know what will happen to the beautiful houses in downtown Frankfurt in 2050?
Students: Nein. No.
Prof: They will be empty because there is no one alive to stay there. We are suffering from negative population growth rate. The average German woman conceives only 1.2 children. That's so bad. We need to do something; I mean you need to do something. I have had 3 kids, that's my share of work.
(Turns to German girls)
Prof: Please do something. Please do something for your lovely country.
(Sudden rush in class. Some girls stand up)
Prof: No no. Please excuse us. No national duties right now. Do it after the class.

And we, the students, were rolling on the floor, laughing!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Sarchasm Anyone?

Today we had a function arranged by DAAD, our scholarship-paying agency in Stuttgart. The arrangements were excellent, and this is one thing where I bow to the Germans. For three days, things took place as per the exact timing given in itinerary. Only once they were late by 2 minutes, and they apologized for the same. Over three days: We had hotel stay, amazing food, free tour of Stuttgart, Visit to Mercedes Benz Museum. So nothing more I could have asked for!

Then we had an interesting lecture by a Dutch Professor, who had been to India, Chennai to be precise. We asked him, what does he miss about India?
His reply: Beautiful Chennai Women!

I resign!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Arbit Experiences

I have been trying my hand at this game for quite some time. The Asian people are quite discernible in European countries thanks to their skin colour, hair colour and may be the colour of the eyes. So I was trying to find a list of features that will help me to identify the country of a person from his looks, especially for the Asian people.

So I came up with a few traits through *net searches and observing people* like:

Chinese looks: Japan, South Korea, China, HK, and Thailand
Indian looks: Rest of Asia


So after coming up with these traits, I started to test it. Every time I saw an Indian looking guy. I used to him * Are you from India?*. And depending on the answers, I modified my traits.

Indian with fair looks: Pakistan
Indian with dark looks: Sri Lanka
Else: India
Fair looks with sharp noses: Turkey, Israel and their Arab friends

But again, this wasn't comprehensive. I met many South Indians who were darker than Srilankans and met many Pakistanis who were darker than North Indians, and many Chinese looked people who were from East India.
So I gave up on finding country from traits. Just not possible!

And finally found the only way to find whether a person is Indian/Pakistani without even talking to him.
If you see an Asian looking guy, talk to Indian friend in Hindi *Train kitne baje ki hai?*. If he doesn't know the language, it will be chaos for him and he won't turn to see us. But if he knows Hindi, he will turn back.

So armed with this weapon, I was travelling alone from Paris to Frankfurt the other day by Eurail. And next to me was an Asian looking guy. Now the problem was, I could not ask my Indian friend *Train kitne baje ki hai?* because I was already in the train. And over to that, since I was travelling alone, there was no one to ask for this question. So I decided to talk directly to the person.

I: Are you from Asia?
N: Yes
I: Are you from *Pakistan*? (*India* had become too cliche)
Neighbor (N): Nope, India
I: Where in India?
N: Bombay
I: Where in Mumbai?
N: Vileparle
I: Where in Vileparle?N: EastI: Where in East?N: Sant Janabai Road
I: Oh, I live on the same road
N (Shocked): Do you have Sant Janabai Road in Pakistan?
I: Nah, I am from India. The first question was Just Like That!

And this way, I found the person who lives on the same road, from the question *Are you from Asia?*

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

And the award goes to....

Vatican City: The smallest country in the world!

Monaco : 2nd smallest country in the world!!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Funny Fotos!

Koln : Open toilets, will you relinquish your fluids here?


Dusseldorf Petrol Pump: That 0.999 fever, prices upto 3 decimals

A Hotel in Frankfurt: Where the hell is Da Vinci?
A German Keyboard: That's why we make so many spelling mistakes.
If Stockholm tourist guide doesn't lie: World's smallest coffee house (5 seats only)

On Stockholm-Helsinki Cruise: Some cigarette kills, the other can kill
French sense of humour at its best
Couple on the either side of broken Berlin Wall

The fish market in Bergen,Norway: They can speak every possible language!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Scandanavia Tour

Hi all

We are done with scandanavia. Many people are asking about tour plan So here is a quick guide :

3rd Oct: Frankfurt to Flemsburg ( Supposed to reach Kobenhaven in the night, but there was an accident on track). And instead of sleeping at Sid Jain's place, we slept at Flemsburg station, on Germany-Denmark border.

4th: Reached Kobenhaven. Sightseeing. Night at Sid Jain's Place

5th afternoon: Kobenhaven(1323) --> Goteburg --> Oslo(2145) --> Bergen (Overnight train)

6th : Bergen Sightseeing : Bergen(1558)-->Oslo.
Reahed Oslo in night,decided to stay in station.Oslo station closes at 115 am, so they kicked us out in 2-3 degree temperature and it was a blessing! It was Saturday night, and the streeets were flooded with people. So we went around the streets.

7th: Deprived of sleep...Dummy travel to Gyrovic(4 hrs to and fro and sleep in train). Saw Gyrovic town too.. Back in Oslo and sightseeing in Oslo
Night: Train to stockholm

8th: Stockholm sightseeing. and ferry to Turku(1915)
9th: Turku sightseeing --> Train to Helsinki--> Helsinki sightsseing--> Ferry to Stockholm (1700)
10th: Stockholm --> Kobenhaven-->Hamburg
11th morning: Frankfurt
_____________________________________________________________________

1.Plz carry your own food and drinks. Scandanavia (espl Norway is damn expensive). Bergen had cheapest youth hostel at 55 euros, and toilet costed you 1.5 euro. In case you want to save toilet money in Bergen, there is Galleratiat shopping mall next to fish market. On 5th floor, there is a toilet for handicapped people. It is free if you know the code , the code is 6859.
2. Carry euro card if you have. All scandi countries have their own kroners. And forex counters charge a flat fee of 20-25 kroners for conversion, hence minimize the conversions.
3. Bergen --> Oslo has been voted as the most beautiful railway track in world in some damn survey. hence dont travel overnight both times.
4. Ferry ride is also a must, don't go to Turku, it was a bad decision on our part. Take Sholm --> Hsinki ride and back. Category C cabins are free on eurail pass. Tax free shops on board of cruise, where you can get cheap chocolates and liquor.
5. Go to Fjord tour if possible, costs 50 euro.We missed it. http://www.fjordtours.com/ I guess
6. Take Kobenhaven--> Hamburg direct train. Here the whole train goes inside the ferry as there is sea in between.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Leg Before Wicket

Germany: A land of fitness freaks. In every nook and corner, we can see people taking good care of their health, to compensate for beer binges. So we see games like Football, Tennis, Cycling and running. You will see an office-goer going to office in a cycle, a Professor coming to university on a cycle. For us in India, fitness becomes an issue when we sit in office cubicles for 13 hours, and then fitness becomes more of an ornament, were going to gym is flaunted as an achievement. Here fitness is a way of life.

Needless to say, Football, Lawn Tennis, Cycling and Running makes their legs stronger and sexier. And these people aren't shy about flaunting the same, like:

Sunday, September 16, 2007

A Picture is Worth Thousand Words!

Extremely Scenic Rhine Valley

Photo of Eurail taken from boat


Beer on boat ride through Mosel River


Frankfurt Auto Show





Ferrari and Me


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Live From Classroom

I am here, sitting in ebs classroom in real estate investment lecture and enjoying wi-fi.

The major difference as compared to Indian classroom is that students are allowed to enter class at any time, leave at any time, cell phones ring in class, people drink Coke, eat food, use wi-fi and chit-chat in class. The Professor is not bugged by all this stuff, in fact he is at his humorous best. Also, there is no attendance policy.

And in IIML: Class doors close at exact start time, mobiles need to be on silent, forget eating food or using lappie in the classroom. Attendance below 80% and lose your grades.

My guess is that, this is a result of difference in pay structures. In Germany, professors are extremely well paid, and in India, well we know the scintillating payments that Profs get!
As Indian Profs are not well paid, they need to show their anger on someone, and the simplest target is the students, and hence we see a lot of ludicrous rules.
As German professors get paid well, they are not frustrated and hence don't pain the students.
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